10/25/26
Executive summary: Almost literally overnight, the kids have decided they would like to have their own bedrooms after 3.5 years of sharing. No problem, I’m ready for it: let the room shuffling commence!
Does it ever feel like to you that kids usually grow and develop gradually, but every so often, a big step change happens seemingly overnight? I’ve felt that way with both my 7yo and 4yo, and those developmental leaps always catch me by surprise, because they’re so unpredictable! Our kids have been sharing a bedroom since little sis was 5 months old, and even back in February when we moved into our new house, she insisted she wanted to keep sharing a room with big bro. But since she turned 4 in the fall, all of a sudden she’s asserting her independence, and she got it into her head that she’s ready for her own room now. It started out with us offering her the guest room when her brother was sick/coughing, so he wouldn’t disturb her at night. Then little sis decided that this was it: she’s claiming her own bedroom and never moving back in with big bro. My 7yo was ready for the change too — I think he appreciates having a place at home where his sibling doesn’t get all up in his business throughout the day. And they’re at a stage now where it’s clear who plays with what toys, so we can split them up between the kids’ rooms, with a few shared items and board games still accessible in a common area. I had not anticipated separating the kids for another year or two, as both of them had so consistently insisted they wanted to room together for the foreseeable future, but this just goes to show how quickly children can transform!
My 4yo is so excited to have her own room. Whereas even a couple months ago she didn’t want to be on her own.
Change is not cheap. I needed to make several purchases to revamp our rooms, which ended up costing $1100 between a desk, a cabinet, and a lounge chair for the bedrooms, plus a floor lamp and a loveseat to go in the former-playroom-turned-den-slash-guest-room. Previously, the kids shared a desk, seating, storage, decor, etc. but now they are getting their own copies. I desperately try to keep our belongings to a minimum, but I guess I can view this as a continuation of our move last spring. If we’d put the kids in their own bedrooms then, we would’ve needed to make the purchases earlier on. But I tried to stick with what we had in the condo, even though this house is almost twice as big, so we didn’t acquire that much during the move (summary is here). And now the proverbial can has been kicked to the end of the road.
My 7yo now has a space of his own, even though his little sis likes to come in to “borrow” his toys while he’s gone at school.
Meanwhile, the small room downstairs has been converted into a den/ guest room. If we ever get a TV (just to play Mario Party as a family activity, honestly), it would go in here. If the kids have friends over and want a hangout space, it would happen in here. Whenever we have guests (or a future sleepover?), we’ll lay out the folding mattress on the floor in here. It’s a very flexible space that can be used for whatever needs arise. The kids still like to play in here too, for whatever reason, so they’ll bring down some toys and camp out in this room. I also stashed all their books in here, with the thought that they can be shared — little sis likes to take her brother’s books and pretend to read them, which I can only hope will promote the bibliophile in her. (But 80% of the time, she only utilizes the books to build blanket forts for her stuffies.)
The extra downstairs room is just that now: extra. I bought a small loveseat so we wouldn’t have to sit on the floor, and my husband exclaimed, “I can’t believe we now own three couches simultaneously!” Me neither.
I’ve been saying it all along: this house is absolutely bigger than we need. But it’s what was available through Stanford’s faculty housing program, so we didn’t get to pick and choose. When I was a child and my favorite pastime was drawing residential floor plans (I wanted to be an architect), I thought the ideal number of bedrooms was five: one primary, one each for two kids, one office, one guest room. As an adult, I had long since abandoned the notion of a 5-bedroom house in favor of more economical/efficient lodgings. And technically, what we have now is officially billed as a 3-bedroom duplex, I tell my minimalist conscience. But functionally, this house gives us the near equivalent of five bedrooms, between the three actual bedrooms, the downstairs den, and the “retreat” attached to our primary bedroom that serves as an office space. We were very lucky to have received the opportunity to purchase this house through Stanford’s faculty housing lottery (the odds were 1/39), so I am grateful for it regardless of the size. We will downsize again one day when my husband retires and we are empty nesters. In the meantime, the kids get to enjoy their own rooms and having K’nex car races down the stairs. I could ask for less, but I certainly couldn’t ask for more!